the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
you inspire me to be a worse person
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize