every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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