Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
