i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
