Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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