Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
