Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
You smell like stripper and shame
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize