I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
