you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
