she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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