Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Randomize
