Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
