NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
my poor anus
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
