dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Just cropdusted the office
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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