i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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