She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
