it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
