Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
