Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
