I need help removing her.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
