I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I need water and some morals
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