Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Randomize
