I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
