can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize