Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
