i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
there is puke in my bra ... again
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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