Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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