the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
