i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
