Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
