the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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