There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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