I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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