I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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