On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
