K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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