is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Randomize
