I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize