um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
