I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
