u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
