peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Randomize
