Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
