I look better un-naked...
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I touched a dick in church today
I use my feet as sexual weapons
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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