isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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