I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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