So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i wish my penis had a tongue
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
True college students do jello shots in the library
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