I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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