Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
