I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
