so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
