My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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