Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
