there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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