1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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