Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I would fuck him just for his dog
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
