if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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