Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
