I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
