My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
