he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
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