this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
