Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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